A bit tongue in cheek?

I spent my teenage years fascinated by short wave. When I was 13 I got my first QSL card, from the English service of Radio Moscow, which I tuned into appropriately enough on a Soviet-built Selena Vega which my mother used to listen to the Greek service of Radio Budapest every Sunday lunchtime (don't ask).

When I was 14 I got my first real radio, a Sony ICF-7600D. Discovering SSB, I found the world of amateur radio and was instantly hooked. Joined the RSGB, sent out many QSLs under the membership number BRS-52413 (and I think I even got 2 back!) When I was 18 and A-levels were out of the way, I passed my "B" licence and became G7DQK. Started to learn morse code and got myself up to a nice speed thanks to a little program I wrote on the ZX Spectrum to test myself. Passed the morse test, picked up my "A" licence and a new callsign, G0NGA.

Spunked 1500 quid on a radio I certainly couldn't afford, a Yaesu FT-767GX, and then happily played on air until ... about 1992. Distracted by job, new flat, marriage and beer (many beers), the radio gathered dust. In 1996 I sold the radio and spent all the money on a holiday in Milan (it lasted about 3 days). And that was the end of that chapter ...

... until 2006 when a childhood friend of mine completely surprised me by passing his novice exams and obtaining a M3 callsign. This gave me the bug and I decided to give it all another go. I picked up a IC-7000 and a CP-6, plugged it in and had about 6 happy weeks ... until a neighbour two doors down started to complain that I was interfering with the NINE televisions in his house! I tried to fix the problem but when you're faced with locating the problem in a mile of RF cable where do you start? In the end I gave up, he kept moaning, Ofcom gave my station the all clear but he still kept complaining and it really took the fun away. IC-7000 went back in the box.

Two years later, it's June 2008, and I'm giving it all another go.

Why am I the world's worst radio ham? It's not quite tongue in cheek:

1. I've never used morse code and I've forgotten it all.
2. I know virtually nothing about radios and aerials, how they work, even what plugs in where. Theory means nothing to me. I obviously did once, but that part of my brain is gone forever, which is weird when you consider that I can recall the beer I drank and where I drank it in each of over 30 countries I've visited. Come to think of it, the two might be linked.
3. As for practice - I've never been a powerhouse. I've always struggled to DX even though it's something I enjoy but my idea of fun is sitting on 20m picking up another exotic contact, even though I know full well I am right at the bottom of the pile. Partly due to the equipment, and partly I'm sure due to the nut holding the mike.
4. I've set up my radio in the car. I have wires all over the place, need I say more?

Today I went to Waters and Stanton in Hockley, picked up a mag mount and three Watson whips, for 40m, 20m and 6m. Surely someone will hear me ... is there anybody out there?